Ease her into it. Mother was right about one thing, though: my usual pattern was to get involved with someone, train them to please me and sort them out, and then gently push them away as they became uninteresting. The fact was, I had never aimed for the long term with anyone yet. With Amanda, it was different. I wanted her with me always.“I was counting on Sylvia to help Amanda feel safe.”“You’re lying to yourself. You could tie Amanda up on an altar with occult symbols and conduct a sacrificial ritual on her, on the mere strength of ‘Fiona says, Fiona wants’. You make her feel safe just by being there. You were counting on Sylvia to make Amanda feel ordinary. One girl amongst many. Nothing special. Another item on the list. That’s what you want her to be, someone you can quickly get into, through, and over. Amanda deserves better from you.”“Excuse me, but I’m not taking instructions from you on this, or anything else”, I said. “No reason I can’t keep several girls.”“Have you heard. There was another silence. I was not going to break it, after all, she had phoned me."If you're tired," she said more brightly, "I'll let you get back to sleep. Shall I phone tomorrow at a better time?"By now I was fully awake again."No," I sighed. "I'm awake now. Did you want to talk?" D'you think we could meet? I don't like talking on the phone." Yes, if that's what you want. Where are you?" London. Where are you?" Manchester. Shall I come down to London?" Since I've called you, I should come to you. I have next weekend free."I wondered afresh what her motives were, but remembering her, could not refuse. In any case I was now even more curious. We made arrangements for her to let me know when her train would arrive and I would meet her at Piccadilly Station.So on the following Friday, 27th April, I went for my run early, and early-afternoon I was waiting at the end of the platform for the London train to disgorge its passengers. I searched as the suitcase-toting crowd passed me by,.
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